Case 345

- Case 345. The state of New York against Mr Trineta and Miss Gamu. 
- It is Miss Guma, your Honour, not Gamu.
- OK. (to the Clerk) Change Guma to Gamu. What is the charge?
- It is a case of civil disorder, Sir. Trineta and Guma are sharing an apartment on the 42nd Street. Their neighbours are complaining about the silence that comes from their apartment.
- Surely, you mean the noise, not the silence.
- No, your Honour, (looking over his documents carefully), they are complaining about silence, not noise.
- Please, proceed.
- It started three weeks ago, when the couple moved in. Earlier, a plumber and her husband lived there and no silence was heard.
- You mean "a plumber and his wife" surely!
- (looking over his documents even more carefully) No, your Honour, the wife was a plumber, I am afraid I don't know what the husband did. Would you like me to find out?
- No, that's OK. It may turn out not to be relevant. If it is, we can always return to it. Please, proceed.
- Where was I? Oh, yes, when the earlier occupants lived in the apartment the neighbours did not complain. Normal sounds were heard, loud arguments, the occasional furniture being thrown through the room, people crying and laughing, that kind of thing.
- And?
- All these sounds are gone. There is complete silence. The neighbours have been listening carefully. Putting their ears to the front door, the walls, the ceiling and the floor. 
- What do you mean, they have actually entered the apartment while the occupants were at home?
- No, your Honour, the people living above them listened at their floor, which is the ceiling of the apartment in question. And the people below listened to their ceiling, which is the floor of the apartment where Mr Trineta and Miss Guma live.
- Really?
- Yes, your Honour, the neighbours have put quite a community spirit into this. But, nothing, not a sound, has been heard.
- Nothing? 
- Worse than that your Honour. Silence is OK if no one lived in the apartment, but this is different. The neighbours are expecting Mr Trineta and Miss Gamu at least to talk to each other once in a while, but they don't.
- May be they don't get along. I could tell you stories...
- No, that is not the case, your Honour, they are very much in love, always kissing and hugging. To be frank, it is a very agreeable pair. I personally came to like them a lot when I interviewed them. As you know, I am here just doing my job as a state attorney.
- Quite.
- The neighbours can't sleep during the day!
- Sorry for interrupting again, but you must mean "during the night"!
- (looking over his documents, as if his life depended on it) No, your Honour. Between sunset and sunrise the neighbours listen for sounds, so they have to sleep during the day. But, they can't! It is driving them mad. The baker on the third floor committed suicide two days ago and several have set their apartments up for sale. 
- That is sad, we need all the good bread we can get. Do you know if he used whole grain? I love it! It is so good for your digestive system. And pita!, have you ever tried pita from Morocco?
- I can't say I have, your Honour.
- Do proceed.
- That's about it. The neighbours ask for the pair to be evicted from the apartment, so life can return to normal.
- Thank you, attorney. Now, may we hear from the defence?
- We didn't bring a lawyer, judge. We will be representing ourselves.
- Fair and square. Now, what do you have to say to these serious charges? One suicide and civil disorder. That's not very good, is it?
- No, your Honour, it is not. The point is that Miss Guma and I have both realised that words separate us more than they join us, so we have decided to communicate not using words. 
- Come again, please! What did you just say?
- When we got to know each other we were obviously using words, but after a while we discovered that they were useless to express the love we felt.
- Forgive me from asking, but that is all you do in the apartment, express your love and what you feel for each other?
- Yes, Sir, we are very much in love! We have not been able to find time for anything else. As a matter of fact we have both quit our jobs as we found they took up too much of our time.
- Amazing! You are both unemployed, you don't make a sound, and the baker on the third floor has committed suicide. (to the Clerk) I can't seem to remember a case like this before, can you?
- I can't say that I do, your Honour. 
- OK, let's continue.
- I would like to call the first witness.
- The first witness, please.
(A man steps forward)
- Your name, Sir.
- Kierkegaard.
- Kierkegaard?
- Yes, your Honour. Søren Kierkegaard.
- I know you! I have read about you! You are the Danish philosopher, aren't you?
- Yes, I guess you could say that.
- But, you are dead! You died many years ago?
- That's right, Sir. I am deceased. But some of my thoughts are still alive.
- (to the clerk) Please, put it down as a footnote, "The witness is dead, but his ideas are not." 
(directed to Kierkegaard) OK. Now what? What do you have to say that has any bearing on this case?
- Just a thought of mine.
- Let's have it.
- The secret of communication consists in liberating the other, therefore it is wrong to communicate yourself directly, yes it is even ungodly to do so.
- (perplexed) You are not a communist by any chance, are you?
- No, why do you ask?
- Nothing, just a thought. (after a brief pause) Will you be kind enough to explain what all this means. And for god's sake, be precise, life is short.
- A thought or a feeling are not words, they are thoughts and feelings. 
- OK?
- To create in you my thought or my feeling I will often use words, but they can never be adequate.
- They can't?
- So, when I do have to use words, I prefer to use words that force you to think carefully about what I am saying. You are forced, since the words I use do not make sense to you.
- You are right about that! This is all gibberish to me.
- When I succeed in using words this way, you will construct a fresh thought or feeling in your mind, instead of just pulling up an idea already stored and based on previous experiences.
- (to Mr Trineta) Kindly explain to me how this has any relevance to your case.
- As he stated, Sir, words are not the best vehicle for communicating thoughts and feelings. And if you do have to use them, don't use them directly.
- That's what he said? I can grasp that! (to Kierkegaard) With all due respect, Sir, why didn't you say it just like that?
- (Kierkegaard steps forward and opens his mouth as to answer, but the judge stops him)
- No, no, on second thoughts. Don't answer that! You may step down.
- Are there more witnesses?
- No, Sir, we couldn't afford any more.
- Young man, please explain to me how you can express your love without reciting poetry, without whispering your innermost feelings in the ear of your loved one. How do you do it?
- Well there are many ways...
- (mimicking in a squeaky childish voice) "Well there are many ways." Give me one will you? I need something for the report I have to write after I have finished this nonsense with you.
- Well, (thinks to himself), why not, one could write a play for instance!
- A play? 
- You mean one could be playing? Like football or volleyball or something. Well, I guess that makes sense.
- No, I didn't mean that. One could write a dialogue, a work for the theatre, a play.
- You must be joking! A play?
- No, I am not joking actually.
- You know what? You make me sick. You know what you are doing?
- No, what?
- You are turning this into a comedy, that's what you are doing! Is nothing sacred for you? I want to throw up! How can you live with yourself like that?
- Well, I ...
- Before you unemployed yourself, what did you do? You had a job of some sort?
- I was a writer.
- That explains everything. A writer! Did you hear that?! Don't make me laugh! What could you write? That's a good one! A writer!
- Well...
- Case dismissed! Next case!